जा सनम ..

The song starts playing and 
I look towards the sky
eagerly searching for the moon
I tend to gaze in its eye

It turns into a known face
digging my heart with spades
Pulling out buried old memories;
With every thought my heart aches

Every line of the song slowly
and surreptitiously recreates
A world out of the incidents and
hidden feelings of those days

I wonder at the innocent desires
plans and promises that were made
The anxiety and adrenaline I had
The path I have taken & the one I laid

And as the song reaches its end
I sing along the lines wiping a tear
Treating every word that comes out
As an orphaned wish and a silent prayer.

---------------------------
song: जा सनम 
movie: ना तुम जनों ना हम 

...शायद कभी कहीं तुम्हें ,
मेरी मिले खबर ,
कर लेना याद बस मुझे, 
मुमकिन हो ये अगर..

Still missing..

I was running. I was running with my backpack on me. I was running towards a classroom. I was late and that made me anxious and I was running fast. I was coming there to meet somebody and I was late. I wanted to be there early because we both were going to meet alone in this classroom after everybody left. I was waiting for this moment since a long time and now I am late. I don’t know what was the reason I don’t know where I was and what I was doing earlier but I couldn't make it in time. I was afraid a bit too. I finally reached the classroom. The classroom was empty. No one was there in it only few bags on the benches. There was a window to the wall opposite to the entrance door, at the rear end of the room. As soon as I reached, I realized I forgot the gift. We both were meeting for friendship day and I didn't get any gift. I was going to meet her after a long time and I didn't have anything to give. I thought again of what might be there in my backpack that I can give it to her. I always give her something I make/write or something that I think is mine. But this time I didn't have anything with me. I was just wearing my J&T and was having the backpack. Not even my watch. I took my backpack and kept it on the floor to search it. Then I saw her looking into the classroom from the window and my heart started racing. I didn't want her to notice me searching my backpack so I turned around and opened it. Then a question popped in my mind, what if she enters the room and walks away without noticing me. Then I stood up and looked at her. She was searching for something/someone in the room with a very strange expectation in her eyes and it was slowing turning into disappointment as no one was in sight. I didn't know what to do. Then I felt, maybe I could give her a hug. I started to feel a little assured that I got something in my mind, but as I started to walk into the room, she came out holding her books to the chest like a college student and walked passed me. Not even looking at me. As if thinking about a plan B because plan A failed. She just walked away and disappeared. When I entered the room, there was light only at the window which fell on few benches near it and slowly it started to fade out and everything turned black. I woke up realizing I am still missing her.

when they came..

This little poem is dedicated to my friends who came to my house as a part of a tour on 13-02-2007. The one day trip and that night gave my life a completely different turn that led me into an unforgettable paradise. Thanks once again my friends.

Every moment,in my thoughts,vividly i can find,
I wonder how come I have the day still in my mind
In my house I stand still at the door,
as I imagine you walking across the floor
I stay speechless in the corner,as I see
in my mind's eye,you all shouting, playing housie*.
While walking through rooms I step aside,
to make way for you and your thoughts inside
I ask mom for few more cups of tea,
feeling that you are still beside me.
I can feel your presence at every place,
I remember the smile and joy on each one's face.
I smile for no reason,I cry without knowing,
I become numb ,as I picture you all leaving.
I have your thoughts but I miss you for sure,
Thanks for the thoughts,thanks for coming to the tour..

* an indoor game

msg to my best friend...

many a times i wanted u to sleep beside me,
so that i can hug u when i get a nightmare,
but i dint want u to know that i was scared,
so whenever i was, i hugged empty air...

Mt without her

silent, in the room i let the moment go,
hearing the sound of rain beating the window,
its too cold to come out, too hot to be in
with a feeling for someone wishin and wantin

my room, my thoughts, the cold, the rain,
all i am left with is a smile on face and a delicate pain....

i am missing u dear.....