Matt Davis Trail

It started with a filled stomach and a curiosity of how it would be inside and how the pictures would come with my new Lumia 1020. The entrance was a small wooden bridge and then it was like a walk to an old abandoned garden. Nothing magnificent or breathtaking. It smelled of old wood and dried leaves. 

It was mid-noon and the sunlight and trees were playing light and shade. The game where part of the tree would be in sunlight and the rest in shade and the light would try to catch up with the shade. There was webbing on the edges of the branches that glowed in sunlight. We wasted quite a while to grab snaps of things around like a teenager using Instagram in a new restaurant. Karl kept saying that we needed to move quickly.

We strolled amidst broken twigs and rocks and after what seemed like an hour, I asked Karl how much distance we covered. He opened a map and showed where we were and where we were supposed to reach. It seemed we have not even crossed 1/8th of the distance. I asked, "At what point do we decide if we continue or go back". Jag marched to the place we sitting like a soldier and said, "You have taken the blue pill. There is no turning back". Well, Jag was the guy who wanted us to eat lightning and fart thunder.

We started moving quick taking breaks only for a sip of Gatorade. I spotted a small snake on the way rushing into the bushes. Slowly, I started noticing huge trees that seemed to be either broken or cut. Those cuts looked like they were made by a machine and logs pushed aside to make the path for the trail. Chirping of birds here and there was the only other sounds we could here besides our footsteps and the others' who seemed dedicated to do the hike. Then came an open area will dried grass. The trail was around the edge of a hill. It was tortuous. Being very sunny, it was easier to take photographs amidst the dry grass.

Me: "Hey Jag, go climb to that top, Peter will take a pic from here"

Jag: (After climbing and after Peter taking photo, keeping his pose intact he started saying) "My name is Maximus Decimus Meridius, commander of the Armies of the North, General of the Felix Legions and loyal servant to the TRUE emperor, Marcus Aurelius. Father to a murdered son, husband to a murdered wife. And I will have my vengeance, in this life or the next."

Then he turned left and kept walking. After a min or two of discussion among ourselves

Me, Karl: (shouting at the top of our lungs) Hey Maximus, turn back, we are not going that side.

We reached a view point from where we could see the downtown to our left and the sea line to the right. There we took rest for a while and continued with our walk. To break the monotonous activity of walking, I asked Jag, "What would be your course of action if I tell you we are lost". Jag replied, "I never lose". I think that was the last question I asked him.

The last quarter of the trail was path through densely grown trees. The way appeared to be forcibly made out, where there was none. Fallen tree trunks, logs, smell of old books and diluted eucalyptus. The sound from a small creek of running water was dominant all around. We saw two artists who sat near the creek and were painting something, either something they saw there or were just sitting there because it was easier to concentrate. It was meditating to listen to the sound of flowing water with no other distraction. Being mostly downhill we had to restrain our feet from giving in to the forward movement. That part had a little painful effect on my legs.

 We took more time than what was mentioned online, to finish the hike. So it grew so dark at one point that we had to use our mobile flashlights to find the way. That further slowed us down. Just before the last 0.5 miles of the trek, we reached a place from where we caught a glimpse of the orange sun setting into the blue ocean. It was a splendid sight but we were very late. A peek was all we could get. The sky around the horizon stayed in the color of vermilion after the sun disappeared into the ocean. It resembled the forehead of a devotee. There were streaks of sunlight that appeared like traces of the light beams hit from beneath the clouds. Nice scenery for silhouettes. 

We took some pictures and then rushed to the point where we parked our car. We started late and took much time to finish the hike so we had to complete it as soon as we could before it grew too dark. We started jogging and as we neared the beach, the wind grew chiller. The day long walking made the chill bearable till we reached the parking arena. 

I felt once in a while we need to go on such a hike.

Time

She is strict, she is punctual, she is disciplined and diligent. She teases, she taunts, she warns and she haunts.
At times she comes to me gracefully, tempting me when I am in high spirits and runs away quickly without me realizing it. How I wish she stayed for some more time and let me enjoy the moment but she is the master and I have to abide by her rules. I wonder and propagate what a lucky person I am to have her in this beautiful form. She arouses envy in others, when I am happy with her. She laughs and regales me however it seems for a very short span.  I am so lost in the euphoria that I realize late of that she is gone too soon.

There are also those times when she stays with me , when I am in a foul mood. Anger or frustration or irritation or depression. She never leaves me alone. But she doesn't bother to invite me to involve with her as she moves along. In such states, I sit and mourn and she plays in front of my eyes running along as she wishes. She stares at my inertia with cold eyes mocking me, blatantly stating that she wouldn't budge so soon. If only she ran along unnoticed, I think I would have some relief.

Thoughts

There is a want, there is a wish. 

There is something to be more than what it is. 

The routine seems unavoidable but still it is the only path brightly lit. 

When the light outside goes out and the one from the bed lamp shines brightest, I hear doors from different worlds creak open. Inviting, intimidating. Explore, remember, avoid. It is all a choice. But what for? Bringing out fiction, putting thought and pouring out letters on the page where they would wiggle their ends looking at each other as if enjoying some inside joke on what is being filled in the paper. Waste of ink? Waste of paper? But thought doesn't take the blame. Its a busy traveler crossing the mind without forcing to be introduced. Just to be entertained maybe even without accepting it. It feels that everything has been seen what is to be seen and everything felt what is to be felt. Is it the shallow mind that narrows the awareness or is it the truth that changes its guise and appears at different places in different forms? Is it the plenitude that demands experience to be variegated? The rainbow ultimately is single entity with different opinions each representing only part of the totality. But the colors attract. No matter how far you go with one, it is just a shade, a part of the entirety. Each color evokes a different feeling, demands a different expression, a different opinion. But in the long run it seems tiresome when destination is reached where all color amalgamate showing there always was and is a single source. This puts the purpose of any creation in simple terms of 'desire for existence'. It desired to be and so it is. 

Rationality doesn't approve that explanation. It needs clear lines between the dots to complete the picture and appreciate the beauty. However dots can only be connected in hindsight which implies the flavor at each stop is not new and tainted with experience. Clouded with old feelings conjured by the memory. No wonder memories force the experience as they are created based on one. Ink falls on the paper and splashes forming multiple small blots that continue to do the same and all is left is a shaded paper. Once trapped, once recorded, the reach of the ink is restrained. But how else would it be propagated? The completeness is never reciprocated between two minds. When it is, then there are no two minds - they become one. Nevertheless, desire dwells in every mind. Every color tries to shine and depict a picture. Sometimes, it is not enough. Desire is not quenched and the craving finds a new partner and copulates to form endless chain of minions constantly working to reproduce. Saturation of mind halts this chain only from one source. The chain reaction was set in motion at the time of creation and only at the destination, where everything becomes one, it is halted. Alas, it would only be a calm before the storm. This is bound to start again to form an endless loop. The search for a meaning to all this is meaningless but at the same time it is discouraging to discard this exuberance. 

Still missing..

I was running. I was running with my backpack on me. I was running towards a classroom. I was late and that made me anxious and I was running fast. I was coming there to meet somebody and I was late. I wanted to be there early because we both were going to meet alone in this classroom after everybody left. I was waiting for this moment since a long time and now I am late. I don’t know what was the reason I don’t know where I was and what I was doing earlier but I couldn't make it in time. I was afraid a bit too. I finally reached the classroom. The classroom was empty. No one was there in it only few bags on the benches. There was a window to the wall opposite to the entrance door, at the rear end of the room. As soon as I reached, I realized I forgot the gift. We both were meeting for friendship day and I didn't get any gift. I was going to meet her after a long time and I didn't have anything to give. I thought again of what might be there in my backpack that I can give it to her. I always give her something I make/write or something that I think is mine. But this time I didn't have anything with me. I was just wearing my J&T and was having the backpack. Not even my watch. I took my backpack and kept it on the floor to search it. Then I saw her looking into the classroom from the window and my heart started racing. I didn't want her to notice me searching my backpack so I turned around and opened it. Then a question popped in my mind, what if she enters the room and walks away without noticing me. Then I stood up and looked at her. She was searching for something/someone in the room with a very strange expectation in her eyes and it was slowing turning into disappointment as no one was in sight. I didn't know what to do. Then I felt, maybe I could give her a hug. I started to feel a little assured that I got something in my mind, but as I started to walk into the room, she came out holding her books to the chest like a college student and walked passed me. Not even looking at me. As if thinking about a plan B because plan A failed. She just walked away and disappeared. When I entered the room, there was light only at the window which fell on few benches near it and slowly it started to fade out and everything turned black. I woke up realizing I am still missing her.

Hug

Everything in the room seems to exist just for the sake of existence. Nothing in the room shows a protest of being misplaced or mishandled. Even the half closed door seems to be in concurrence with its position. Half the room is filled with light from the florescent lamp in the adjacent room. The fan is set at just the right speed to personify the cool breeze in the house to a small kid running & playing in and out of each room, resonating the feeling and ambience of comfort. She slowly glides towards me in her pink night dress and gives out her hand.
 
Lying on the bed, I look at her eagerly and stretch out my hand to hold hers. She pulls me up effortlessly and I stand right in front of her. I feel her warm breath on my chest and I move close to softly kiss her shoulders. She slowly drags me walking back and pulls me to a corner of the room near the wardrobe beside the shower room. She seems to be few steps ahead of me for she kept on the shower with hot water running. As she opens the door, the steam rushes upon us challenging the warmth in our intimacy. I pull her close and stand in front of the open door letting the steam flow into the room creating a mix of hot and cold air inside. We move towards each other as if two pieces of a puzzle are being brought to their right place to complete the picture. We hug.

Neither tightens the grip but still feel inseparable. Seconds turn to minutes and then hours and time comes to a halt. Holding its breath it gazes at us. We hear nothing else apart from two hearts beating slowly falling in synch forming a peaceful rhythm. For the first time a wave of gratitude towards being alive flows through the body.

what the song did to me!

It starts with an enticing voice calling me somewhere indicating something interesting is happening. Then it tells me that the interesting thing is me. It pulls me with tender hands and makes me do a soft dance. It pushes me teasingly and sends me up in the air with its gentle pushes. I fall down. It catches me and swings me higher. After few more swings, it gives one final push and sends me floating in the air. I slowly descend from the sky, lying on my back. It gives time to tranquilize, my anxiousness settles and heart beat returns to normal. No sooner I feel in control, it spins me around and launches me in the air leaving me helpless to feel the full effect of the free fall. But miraculously, I fall on a soft bed. I keep sinking in it till I slow down and stand up by myself.

Someone screams my name and I consciously close the door on this bliss and return to my work, smiling at myself.

Confession!

She said it loud, not that everyone had to hear it, there were only two of us present. She was ascertaining her feeling by saying it aloud so that every part of her understands and acts accordingly and that every part of mine does the same. Her body was so heated up with the feeling that I could see slight movement in her hands and the heat was melting her thoughts into water that I could see in her eyes. The moment robbed us of words. I could see the sincerity in her eyes. Her feeling was so pure and truthful, I was moved. I had to take a step back to bottle the scene for drinking it up later when I can digest it. There were no metaphors or similes, no quotes or sayings. They were three simple words telling what she felt, what she believes and what the base of her actions towards me is going to be. That day for the first time she openly said, "I hate you".

Change..

In a suburb train. It's cold inside because of the AC. Outside because of the rain that is about to start. Train starts. I am going far off from the life I had till now. The life I have been dying {to live} fighting with each and everything that came in my way. Struggling to win a fight between myself & nothingness. Facing the life of helplessness and friendlessness. As the train catches speed I look at the glass widow. {Water starts to accumulate on the window pane} It starts to rain and a single stream of water comes out my eyes stealthily, helplessly. The image of the city gets messier through the window pane. Within no time I see only water. On the window, on my face, in my hands. I try hard to erase the memories of the past. I move my head to the sides slowly no to get noticed, consciously trying to shake off the memories from my head & tears rolling from my eyes. I stare at the window. After a while my mind goes blank and I start to feel my face drying up, hardening the path the tears has created on my face. I don't know how long it was. It seemed that a long time has passed yet it seemed just a while ago.

The window glass is filled with water and mist. The window pane becomes opaque. My eyes close as if longing for rest and sleep from a long time. I sleep unaware of my surroundings.

I wake up for the jerks of the train. The first thing I do is look towards/through the window to know where I am. I notice the water drops and mist surrounding the window slowly fading. The glass starts to become clean and transparent again.

I feel a sense of calmness inside me. The calmness after a frightening storm or a threatening war. The clouds have cleared. What I see is completely new, green and cheerful.

It was as if the water came to clear the picture that I was seeing {through window}, the picture I disliked and replacing it with something bright, lovely and filled with hope.

The train came to a halt at my stop. I got down and moved on with new hope and aspirations. I moved on.

I slipped

I reached the coffee day holding a packet of ice cubes with hand on my head. My friends were a little surprised to see me so, as I was perfectly fine the last evening when they left me. The obvious and common question before morning wishes were exchanged was "What happened?". I delayed the explanation to fuel myself with a cup of hot cappuccino and started with "Last night..

..as I prepared my bed and lied on it, just as I was about to sleep, I sensed my room was slowly getting cooler. I wondered if I was sleeping on the remote of my AC. No, I wasn’t. The window was open and the curtains were fluttering to the wind that was trying to tear them off. I stood up and went near the window to close it. What I saw as I neared the window was breathtaking. Though I liked the view of the city from my window, I never knew it was so exhilarating. My room was on the 99th floor of the Towers building. The last floor of the tallest tower in the city. I stepped in through the window to the balcony. The balcony was specifically designed as a safe side just in case people came near to the window and let things slip their hands in the shock from the scenery before them. As I completely came into the balcony, owing to my slim body, I was oscillating to the fiery cool wind at such high altitude. I was also slightly shivering. I stood at the edge curious to see how it looked below. At such a height I hoped it was the same as above , everything clear and covered in clouds and mist. As I looked below I felt something pulling me down. I stepped back with a jerk. I let the feeling settle for few seconds. I thought this time I would look at it without being overcome by trepidation. I watched the emptiness below my feet and then looked at the one above. Then I heard some noise inside the room. For a moment, I forgot where I was and turned back. I lost balance and I slipped.

When I woke up I thought - my head hit the floor very hard."

then: "If you see one bird its unlucky, two its luck" but I was not watching the birds , I was looking at her. Childish or foolish or just for the fun of it. I couldn't find the exact reason for her to believe in it.

now: My campus has lots of those birds. Whenever I see them, mostly wen I spot a single one, I repeat to myself "I don't believe it". But due to the number of the birds around here, i hardly miss them. I was in the cafe standing beside my team mate having coffee. I was looking around wondering why the strength of ppl at the cafe was less this day! Was it that we came late?! But on this day, keeping in mind how I was feeling, I was least bothered about it. It was an year that I came to this city,reason being my job. On this day me and my frnds reached to this city at around 2.00 in the afternoon.

As I think, I see a bird on the patch of grass lying in font of the cafe. I hear a voice "one means bad luck".

My mind went blank.I left that thought unnoticed and remembered the day at the station.
I started thinking about the moment I saw her as the train stopped on the platform. Wearing a white long skirt and the top ( brown/grey/red I cant tell as I cant differentiate the color) she was standing beside her boyfriend. She wore glasses and had short hair. She looked entirely different from the last time I saw her. I felt happy to see her again. At this thought, on the grass patch in front i saw another bird coming from behind the tree.I couldn't see it before because of a tree. It joined the one already present. Now I said to myself " two means luck". I felt , its not the tree because of which I couldn't see the second one but the thought of her that made me see it.

I am lucky I know her.

In contemplation...

Its different. Cant give u the reason but i know its different. I've been in journeys like this before. its different. I can feel it. The happiness,the little bit can-be-taken-care-later grief is not there! did i change? or is it that I'm so used to them that i cant recognize them or differentiate them from ordinary feelings. Its again the same reason, i don't know. But i feel some security in this state of heart and mind.

Change is constant. Nothing is yours. You r just another passenger tryin to find a reason to identify/state yourself apart from the others. How all these statements sound true at the same time now! i wonder.

Am i alone? no. I'm surrounded by sounds of laughter,pain,authority, sounds of life and images of togetherness,insecurity,solitude,images of existence....but y doesn't anything affect me? I look indifferent to all of them. Is it the result of fleeting happiness that i cant share and a constant nagging pain which no one will wish to share.It takes real guts to deny both. The trouble starts when u acknowledge them again and again. But for the 'time-being' its irrelevant. Time stops for none. Once u r in its web, u escape living. U have to. There's no choice in it.

The only choice u have is how u live.

I'm tired.I want to stop the image feed to the brain. But i see a different world altogether when i close my eyes.Does this show that I detest the reality which I'm suppose to live in or does it show my inability to shut the brain for sometime or as long as i want. The only thing i do is to give myself to the dizziness.I sleep.I dream.Time moves. Something from the reality reaches into my dreams and transports me to the now(present).I wake up. Not long enough, i long to slumber again.time moves.I do nothing but time moves. After few repetitions i no longer feel sleepy.My eye lids refuse to close.Even blinking becomes alien.I just watch. Watch people do things.Watch things happen and time move.

a conversation

Boy enters the bus, searches for his girl and finds her standing with her frnds..a smile appears on his face..he eagerly waits for her to look at him so that he can have a chat with her..she finds time to escape from her frnds and looks at him

the conversation starts...
boy: raises both his eyebrows and lowers them quickly retaining smile on his face

girl: raises her eyebrows,tilts her head to one side and straintens maintaining the same smile

boy:looks from her head to feet then to head,raises his eyebrows,make his eyes big and rocks his head tilting it with a small amplitude in both ways

girl:lowers her glance,looks slightly askew to the floor of the bus contracting her lips into a smile and looks at him

boy:bounces his eyes from her place to a place near to where he is standing simultaneously tilting his head in the direction of motion of his eyes

girl:raises her eyebrows and lowers them without any smile on her face. gives a quick look towards her frnds without moving her head and gives little nods sideways

boy:breaks their eye contact,looks out of the window for few seconds,looks at the floor,looks into her eyes,blinks slowly and smiles

girl:glances at him,looks in his eyes wen he returns his gaze and smiles after he smiles..

they go back to talk with their resp frnds,looking at each other occasionally and returning short smiles..wen the stop for the boy to get down comes,he shouts at her by turning his head towards her...she stares at him even before he looks at her

boy:rocks his head tilting it from one side to the other and gives a broad smile

girl:imitates him and watches him get down the bus

the boy walks few steps and turns back and looks at the bus,resumes his walk and smiles to himself

girl in the bus stares at the floor for few seconds and smiles at herself.

the day starts for them...

Can you show???

It was post lunch. I was the third student in the third bench in the third column in the class.It was very odd time to have a realization. It was a time when I also realized the saying that teacher is equivalent to God. He was the only reason that I was enlightened to sit and unfold this great work, Though it falls into the category of 'nonsense', I am very much happy to have been releasing it for the sake of those who don't understand the power of the pen, or rather words as I am typing this. Let me not keep you in ignorance, though it is bliss. I am with this script to disturb it.

He came to my bench. I was apparently fidgeting with my books, being crushed by two heavy weighters of our class on both sides. It was inevitable. He asked me "Show me yours". I was shocked. It was like time has frozen for few seconds. It hit me like an ice cream. My thoughts were already drifting towards somewhere I dont know, in search of the answer to the most important question I felt at that moment. He asked me to show something I don't have. Consequent of my mind's absent state, I was punished. He ordered me to leave the class at once."Go out and kneel before the door". I felt helpless. I wanted to ask him,ask the crushers behind me,ask the benches, the black board, God or someone.. Is this fair? Has justice gone on a vacation? But there was no answer. I was punished for something I dint do. Should an innocent, ignorant, fragile hearted boy be punished for some work he dint do? It was after all just one day's home work. Gosh!

Then I took an oath on the ant that was making its way through the sand on the floor on which I kneeled down. I will definitely find a answer for this question. No one else should suffer for the lack of an answer for this. Thats the reason I -affirmed- to write this book "How to show what you don't have".

I am sure folks will enjoy this one-in-a-million magnificent piece of work.

A chapter in my life...

"And what about the third question" , shouted Hady as if i started the incantation for preparing THE magic potion without adding the most vital ingredient which he remembered suddenly.Before I spell-ed my thoughts Kurl shouted "Kock it off !!! I wont repeat myself... dont discuss about the exam.Let me have my lunch peacefully". I guess you got the context.It was in the lunch room after our exam. Actually i partially felt the same too.But i appreciated Hady's effort to break the ice at the table. Every one was dull.

I should say something about this guy Hady. He's with me from my graduation/college and i mean it..he is with me.
I still wonder what in the world can make this fellow tensed? though i never dared to ask him. He 's one of the coolest guy in our gang and that implies he's not the only one.I am too but that day it was a different story, this story. let me get back to the lunch table.
I told him what he wanted. " That one's wrong too".
"Why? who told so?" he enquired.
"That bugger Derk. He got all five correct. I was happy till he disturbed me starting the discussion about how easy the paper was and how soon he finished it ..bla bla bla...."
It was like I gulped a handful of something i really hate when i realized my solution for the problem was wrong. I was on cloud 9 til Derk blew the wind and made me fall down.( just fyi i am very thin!! so the sentence suits... :) ).
I narrated the correct solution mimicking Derk.

"Dont worry about that, i think my solutions are also wrong for the last two problems...so wat'l u drink? pineapple or grape juice?",he asked.Does it really matter i thought. I made silly mistakes in the paper.Gosh!!

Some one across the table read my mind. "You came very early from the hall" said Bean and quickly turned his gaze towards his lunch plate so that i wont get what he is accusing me of. But i understood. He was accusing me of being so arrogant for not revewing my solutions. I turned towards Hady who started talking for Bean.

"Why couldnt you recheck?"
I thought of asking why dint you check yours? then felt it to be childish to retaliate so.
"It wouldnt have mattered much . I would be thinking again on the same lines... I couldnt get the right answer".
Well Bean was not wrong. I was in a hurry to be the first one to come out without leaving any problem undone. I dint focus on reviewing i just re-glanced.

Hady went to get me apple juice ( i always select something out of the options he comes out with...may be thats y he leaves at least one out..)Slowly Hemar and Fatzee came out with their i-was-a-fool-not-to-see-this incidents and slowly the topic moved away on to our invisilator, how he acted dictator in the exam hall looking on us like we were warrior ants and he can ruin our lives with one single pen strike and Without my knowledge i had something i thought i would'nt have the whole evening. I was smiling . It was like a wave the audience do in a football or cricket match. Everyone was smiling. Hady was actually laughing. Let me tell you, everything in this world that goes must come back. But the only thing that makes you feel good when it returns is a smile. Soon the topic of exams was lost in the mulberrybush.(I dont know where to find one!!!). The topic was gone.

I contemplated on my feeling.As soon as i realized i dint fair well in the exam i was cursing my fate. I prepared well.Even then i had to go wrong. I even dramatised the scene by playing the Linkin Park song "In the end..."...

I tried so hard,
I tried so far,
but in the end it doesnt even matter
i had to fall
to loose it all
in the end
it doesnt even matter.....

and now..with just a few lines of chat with friends, my friends , ya i am proud to refer them so,i am completely taken away from the feeling of frustration. Listening to them i felt better. I lost the feeling that i was not the best in the exam.When they could smile what am i cursed with that i cant be happy. Hell with the exam, i am not going to cry for some silly mistake. I choose to be happy. Let me see who stops me. I tell you it was really not the same me. If i would have been roaming alone without approaching my friends i would have thought of something really worthless.
In a split second i heard a little voice in my head.Thats what are friends for. Yes , this is just another incident that strengthened my belief that i can do anything, be anything if i have these seven 'f r i e n d s'

And you know what? i had another exam the next day.Hady got the highest score in it.I secured one less than that. Others scored as they expected.we all prepared for it together the night before.I love my friends.

Have U?

??
It all started with a sensation taking me aback from my daily chores.Laziness.Tied to the bed with the craving for sleep, transformed into invisible chains.Every inch disagrees with the master controller's orders.The brain starts to remind the hectic day ahead accompanied with the cliches being shouted in the ear regarding the importance of time management. It was a little early for the day to start so soon.No choice.I had to leave with incomplete desire to hang on to the bed.

Bus.It is an interesting means of transport.Even more when it is for,by and to the public.It is one of the automobiles that runs twice the speed when u are running behind it than that when u are inside.Hanging to an 3/4th opened window shield with 2/3rd of my 2nd foot on the foot-board with the bag loosely hanging displacing my centre of gravity at turns on the road,I go for work with the sun slashing my face with hottest rays!Gosh did I woke up in the wrong planet?

Late.Boss early!Another creature of interest.Boss is a unique category of homo-sapiens who is early when u are late and who is late when u are on time.No one ever understands the underlying paradox that the problem with punctuality is that no one would be there to appreciate it !After satisfying the boss standing in front of him watching the details of his face as he struggles to inculpate me using his terrible vocabulary that I have made a bad 'hobby' of coming late and that I have committed an unforgivable sin in the world.

This is what it is.You do a thousand good things, u may be not spoken of but one wrong move and you turn into a world's most wanted culprit.It is irrelevant to argue with fools, they bring u down to their level and beat u with their experience.I return to my desk.

Work done.

Returning home.After all this u get the opportunity to sit and smell the whole city stinking right in front of u,tired gentlemen,skin beneath the eyes sunk deep pushing their eyeballs out delicately stopped on their way to fall from their sockets.Half of them don't bother and half don't have time to bother about their body odor.Gosh! It stinks!

Enough. Frozen food from the fridge pushed through esophagus with double the quantity of H2O.

Buckling my self with the chains left open early in the morning hoping for something to go right when I wake up, I return to Lord Fred.