Change..

In a suburb train. It's cold inside because of the AC. Outside because of the rain that is about to start. Train starts. I am going far off from the life I had till now. The life I have been dying {to live} fighting with each and everything that came in my way. Struggling to win a fight between myself & nothingness. Facing the life of helplessness and friendlessness. As the train catches speed I look at the glass widow. {Water starts to accumulate on the window pane} It starts to rain and a single stream of water comes out my eyes stealthily, helplessly. The image of the city gets messier through the window pane. Within no time I see only water. On the window, on my face, in my hands. I try hard to erase the memories of the past. I move my head to the sides slowly no to get noticed, consciously trying to shake off the memories from my head & tears rolling from my eyes. I stare at the window. After a while my mind goes blank and I start to feel my face drying up, hardening the path the tears has created on my face. I don't know how long it was. It seemed that a long time has passed yet it seemed just a while ago.

The window glass is filled with water and mist. The window pane becomes opaque. My eyes close as if longing for rest and sleep from a long time. I sleep unaware of my surroundings.

I wake up for the jerks of the train. The first thing I do is look towards/through the window to know where I am. I notice the water drops and mist surrounding the window slowly fading. The glass starts to become clean and transparent again.

I feel a sense of calmness inside me. The calmness after a frightening storm or a threatening war. The clouds have cleared. What I see is completely new, green and cheerful.

It was as if the water came to clear the picture that I was seeing {through window}, the picture I disliked and replacing it with something bright, lovely and filled with hope.

The train came to a halt at my stop. I got down and moved on with new hope and aspirations. I moved on.

I slipped

I reached the coffee day holding a packet of ice cubes with hand on my head. My friends were a little surprised to see me so, as I was perfectly fine the last evening when they left me. The obvious and common question before morning wishes were exchanged was "What happened?". I delayed the explanation to fuel myself with a cup of hot cappuccino and started with "Last night..

..as I prepared my bed and lied on it, just as I was about to sleep, I sensed my room was slowly getting cooler. I wondered if I was sleeping on the remote of my AC. No, I wasn’t. The window was open and the curtains were fluttering to the wind that was trying to tear them off. I stood up and went near the window to close it. What I saw as I neared the window was breathtaking. Though I liked the view of the city from my window, I never knew it was so exhilarating. My room was on the 99th floor of the Towers building. The last floor of the tallest tower in the city. I stepped in through the window to the balcony. The balcony was specifically designed as a safe side just in case people came near to the window and let things slip their hands in the shock from the scenery before them. As I completely came into the balcony, owing to my slim body, I was oscillating to the fiery cool wind at such high altitude. I was also slightly shivering. I stood at the edge curious to see how it looked below. At such a height I hoped it was the same as above , everything clear and covered in clouds and mist. As I looked below I felt something pulling me down. I stepped back with a jerk. I let the feeling settle for few seconds. I thought this time I would look at it without being overcome by trepidation. I watched the emptiness below my feet and then looked at the one above. Then I heard some noise inside the room. For a moment, I forgot where I was and turned back. I lost balance and I slipped.

When I woke up I thought - my head hit the floor very hard."