from the diaries of Tanvi:
He was coming to me when I looked up after sending a message in hurry. He crossed the road on the bike and saw me. A simple smile wishing me ‘Hi’. He asked me to get on the bike. He took out his cell and was trying to make a call. Looking at his mobile I asked him when and why he changed it! He started telling about how his old mobile a better and higher model got under a car and was damaged beyond 1000 rupees repair. He showed me the old piece. He finished the call soon and we started to the place we decided to spend some time. I don’t know the reason but I was excited to meet him. It was almost close to a year that I last saw him. The first impression looking at him was, nothing changed in him but (later) the evening proved it otherwise. We went to beach. It was not like the old days when he used to talk as if in an extempore and would give little gaps expecting me to continue it or talk something. This time, I became the contestant and he, the judge. I gave him a brief account of my whole life since the day we parted. Though we talked with each other a couple of times during last one year, I felt this was the first time after the farewell.
I passed the mic. He was too calm, more than what I have known him to be. He was casual. I dint see any hint of excitement of interest on his face. I doubted whether our relation was so deep that he is behaving as if we met yesterday or is it that meeting me for a couple of hours doesn’t make any difference. I dint take any guess. I waited for him to talk. In spite of us sitting in front of the water, I found difficulty in breaking the ice. He was moving like a professional killer patiently waiting for his target to move to the spot he marked in his plan. I showed him my camera and took few snaps of the beach, of him and of him & the beach. He told me his resentment towards his life. He dint like the way things were at the office. He told me how he feels he has wasted one full year doing nothing, nothing worthwhile. He dint enjoy his life. He was sad and dull telling all this. He appreciated me for the time I had with the people I was with. I couldn’t carry the conversation sitting there so I suggested a walk. We walked near to the line from where the water returned into the sea.
We walked few rounds on the sand. We talked about love. It was a small conversation. He told about the girl who was after him. ‘Hmm.. ‘ I thought ‘..girl friend, interesting’. We sat again. The sky was dark, the stars were out and the crescent moon added to the beauty of the scenery. We could see each other’s faces in the lights that were on, around the beach boundary. He was looking at me but it was more like he was looking through me. There was a twitch on his lips. No one spoke. The sound from the sea was waxing and waning through my ears and mind. He looked without blinking his eyes and asked me, ‘Is it so hard to make your parents agree for the relation?’ His tone was obedient, his eyes looked innocent and his body language – pleading. I never faced emotion in such multitude. I lost words, lost my thoughts and lost sense of time. I remained silent for I don’t know how much time. He asked the question again with his eyebrows. I hung my head and looked towards the sand. I only said ‘I already told you’. He looked away with a feeling of helplessness. We dint talk about it again. I sensed a dead end to our conversation. After a few moments, we started from the beach. After we covered some distance, he started talking again, about his family, his work and his life. He dropped me at the end of the street where I told him to. He smiled, said ‘Keep in touch’. His face said a silent good bye. He was gone. I moved on.
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